Tourniquet
by Vestque the Artist
Summary: My wounds cry for the grave, my soul cries for deliverance.Will I be denied? Christ? Tourniquet? My suicide? Raph Centric, Evanescence song fic One shot. Complete.


OK, got this idea a while ago, and feeling good about it, so why not write it? Enjoy.

Disclaimer: Do not own Evanescence or the Ninja turtles…

A/N: It's important that you read the lyrics in the story, cause if you don't, you'll miss half of it. I did it in such a way that the lyrics are her thoughts and feelings. So you have to read what she's thinking in order to understand, don't you? Of course you do! Lol!

Tourniquet

(Based off of the Evanescence song of the same name)

I tried to kill the pain  
but only brought more  
I lay dying  
and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal  
I'm dying praying bleeding and screaming  
Am I too lost to be saved  
Am I too lost?

She blasted the stereo to full volume, allowing the heavy guitar and drum mix to settle on her soul. The soft angelic voice of the singer spoke volumes as to what Karen was really feeling. She wanted it to block it all out.

The pain.

The hurt.

She wanted it to be gone.

She wanted to be gone.

The main verse to the song blasted through the room, and through her thoughts as she stood.

She knew what she had to do.

My God My Tourniquet  
Return to me Salvation…

She put her hair up as she made her way to the bathroom, the tears flowing down her made up pale cheeks in black rivulets.

Her mascara was running, she just knew it, as well as the black makeup that surrounded her eyes.

My God, my tourniquet  
Return To Me Salvation…

She didn't care.

'Let it run, it's all over anyways.'

Or at least that's what her boyfriend said. Well, kind of, except substitute the word 'it's' with 'we're' and the word 'said' with, '_showed through fucking another girl_!'

How could she have been so naïve, going with a guy three years older than her? What would a senior want with a lowly freshman?

A tear escaped her eye as her thoughts settled back on what she had witnessed.

All of the flesh she had seen…it was just too much.

Do you remember me?  
Lost for so long  
Will you be on the other side?  
or will you forget me?

She had walked right in, right into the scene that ended her life, destroying her from the inside out. He was cheating on her, after all that they had, after all that she had _thought_ they had, he was cheating. 

And it was enough to push her over the edge.

I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming  
Am I too lost to be saved?  
Am I too lost?

The white tile of the bathroom gleamed into her sub-consciousness as well her eyes as she shielded them from the brightness. It hurt, it hurt so much. The pain.

Well, after tonight it wouldn't hurt any more…She would make sure of that.

My God, my tourniquet  
Return To Me Salvation…

Striping from the black that instantly reminded her of him, she ran the bath, the boiling hot water making the room steam in a heat that she would no longer feel. Totally naked, she looked in the mirror.

A frail, skinny form reflected back.

She almost spat.

Of course he didn't want her. Pale, Skinny, Bony.

Ugly.

She was hideous.

My God, my tourniquet  
Return To Me Salvation…

She turned away from the glass of the mirror in a disgusted sob. Of course he didn't want the likes of her, how could he? She was disgusting.

No one would want her…no one could love her…

She didn't even love herself.

(Return to me salvation)

Opening the blindingly white cabinet, she searched until she found what she was looking for.

Her relief.

Her freedom.

She winced as she stepped into the tub, the vast bowl engulfing her small form.

But that was how she wanted it.

Leaning back, she sobbed quietly before calling up all the hurt, the pain, the anger, into one fleeting motion. There was a flash of silver as the razor blade found her wrist, and with all her might, it tore into her soul.

-I want to die-

* * *

Raphael huffed as he climbed the fire escape.

Karen had just sounded so desperate on the phone. So desperate.

-Flashback-

Raphael?

Oh, hey Karen, What's up?

He's cheating on me.

He, who? What?

Brian was cheating…and now I don't know what to do…

Karen, ah, Karen. It's ok-

**-dial tone-**

Hey! Karen? Karen?!

-End flashback-

She had sounded so broken. So dead.

He had left the lair immediately after that call, walking right out. Leo wasn't happy, but he couldn't care less.

Forget practice, there were bigger things to worry about.

He now climbed the fire escape to the apartment she had rented for college. It was all hers too, she being too stubborn to have her parents pay a dime.

That was one of the reasons he like her. Strong willed, stubborn beyond all reason…

She had always been self reliant, well...

Before, she had been self reliant until getting involved with some guy she met on campus.

Raphael snarled, looking up and into the apartment that just loomed ahead.

Brian was a bad ass if he ever saw one. It could never work, he could tell. They were just so different, too different. However, when Karen seemed to fall head over heals for him, Raph just couldn't summon up the courage to tell her that it wouldn't work, though obvious it might be.

And everything went down hill because of it.

Her grades…

Her appearance…

All black wasn't befitting on her, to say the least. She always was a bright person, both physically and mentally. But since Brian was into it…she let herself go dreary in both aspects, just to please him.

If Raph wanted to kill him then, he definitely wanted to kill him now.

The prick was cheating on her, cheating on Karen who gave him her life, her soul, her _all_.

He broke her heart, and for that, he would pay.

Raph sighed loudly, while looking into the window that was his destination only to catch the bathroom door closing within.

'Damn, what is she doing?'

Hastily, he opened the window, slipping inside effortlessly before closing it again. The nefarious sounds of Evanescence slipped over his brain, but he paid it no mind.

Well, that was until he actually recognized the tune.

I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming  
Am I too lost to be saved?  
Am I too lost?  
  
My God, my tourniquet  
Return to Me Salvation…

'Shit!'

Well, if that wasn't a clue, then he didn't know what was.

Hastily he ran to the bathroom, nearly tripping over her junky apartment. By the time he made it over there, the sound of running water already filled the bathroom as steam already rose from the cracks beneath.

He could hear her sobbing. And his heart broke because of it.

My God, my tourniquet  
Return To Me Salvation…

"Karen?" His voice was low, too low it seemed.

She didn't hear him over the music; that much was obvious as her sobs only rose in volume.

"Karen? Karen?!"

His voice increased in degree, his true urgency shining though.

However, it did not seem to work, she wouldn't open the door.

His own breath sounded from his lungs as his ears pounded with the sound of his own heart against the heavy guitar of the stereo. Meanwhile, she sobbed from within.

(Return to me salvation)

Suddenly, amongst the confusion that was his mind, he could make out her breath hitching. He could _feel _it.

And then…pain.

"KAREN!"

-I want to die-

In a sudden desperation he didn't even know he possessed, he rushed into the door, the wood falling away as it splintered from the seams. Thankfully, his shell caught most of the impact, although the part of his shoulder that did as well, ached and bled.

Nevertheless, that was nothing compared to the scene that awaited him within.

His breath hitched.

The tub overflowed now, the steaming hot water running onto the floor from the faucet that had all but forgotten to be turned off. She laid in that tub now, her blood mingling with that of the water.

Her slashed wrists hung over the tub's edges as if her depleting life was a tribute to the water below.

Through the shock of his mind he was just barely able to make out her obvious tool of choice as floated past him in a wave of blood and water.

She was dying.

His Karen was dying.

Thankfully, with his mind in complete and utter shock, his body took over for him. Hastily, he splashed over to her, the steaming hot water on the floor burning his bare feet as he did, but he paid it no mind.

He almost sobbed when he finally got a good look at her naked form.

So skinny. So pale.

Like a corpse.

How could he have let her go so far? How could he have missed that this was more serous than he thought?

Puppy love, that's all it had been to him. That's all he thought it was to her.

A Phase.

Just like his love for her…or at least he had hoped so.

Nevertheless, his heart still proved him wrong.

He loved her. Although he would have never admitted it,

Until now.

He picked up her thin frame, her slashed wrists dangling in his arms. Her beautiful face was now stained with mascara and makeup she didn't need.

Another example of what _he_ did to her. However, despite his distraught, he did think clearly enough to recognize the pulse he felt through her skin, as well as the heartbeat he saw on her chest.

Damn. She was just so _thin_…

Her breath was short, but normal.

There was hope.

If he could just get her help as soon as possible, she might live.

He looked around, the water on the floor a bright pink from her blood. She had lost a lot of blood, and if he waited around anymore, her chances for survival would be slimed by that much.

Therefore, he had to hurry.

Nearly flying from the waters to the bathroom door, he rushed out and into the living room, in search of something to cover her with. Her skin was scolded red from the water, probably first to second degree burns, but those were less important compared to the life that was escaping her through the dripping blood. Quickly, he wrapped her in what he could find, a black sheet, before heading to the window.

My wounds cry for the grave  
My soul cries for deliverance

Down the fire escape he went. Year and years of Ninjitsu coming to play as he made it down as effortlessly as he did up. He would get her to the hospital; he would make sure of it.

Thankfully, if he remembered correctly, it was only a few blocks away.

Will I be denied?

Christ?  
Tourniquet?…

He hugged her to his chest as he ran, her heartbeat almost steady against his pounding one.

She would make it, he was sure of it.

My suicide…

-

The Lyrics for the song, (w/o interruption)

Evanescence:

__

Tourniquet

I tried to kill the pain  
But only brought more  
(So much more)  
I lay dying  
And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal  
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming  
Am I too lost to be saved  
Am I too lost?  
  
My God, my tourniquet  
Return To Me Salvation  
My God, my tourniquet  
Return To Me Salvation  
  
Do you remember me?  
Lost for so long  
Will you be on the other side?  
or will you forget me?  
I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming  
Am I too lost to be saved?  
Am I too lost?  
  
My God, my tourniquet  
Return To Me Salvation  
My God, my tourniquet  
Return To Me Salvation  
  
(Return to me salvation)  
-I want to die-  
  
My God, my tourniquet  
Return To Me Salvation  
My God, my tourniquet  
Return To Me Salvation  
  
My wounds cry for the grave  
My soul cries for deliverance  
Will I be denied Christ  
Tourniquet  
My suicide  
-

Hm, what do you ya think? Just a short little thing I came up with, and found the perfect song for. Well? I'm waiting! R and R


End file.
